Tuesday. 8.18.09 12:02 am
I will not longer be using this site.
Thanks to the people who were nice enough to comment on my blogs over the years.
Happiness Writes White
Sunday. 7.12.09 11:55 pm
So I have this crazy habit of only writing when I am upset...
The problem lately has been that I have been so happy with life that I have had nothing to complain about, ergo nothing to write about.
It reminds me of the Harvey Danger song Happiness Writes White.
So why am I so happy as of late? Well...I am finally done with school. The summer isn't even half over and I miss it. So I have decided to take the classes I was too scared to take in college because I didn't want to mess up my GPA....just for fun classes. I saw a handful that I really liked.
My friends are amazing. I miss living near Courtney. But there is something awesome about living so close to the girls who know everything I have been through in my life (Alisa and Michelle).
I also stumbled into this amazing relationship without even looking for it with Warren. It's like all these pieces fell into place at the perfect time...We have been together for almost 5 months, which isn't long for me. But I feel like we have been together for so much longer. I had no idea relationships could be like this. He plays absolutely no games with us, I feel like he is always so honest, it's refreshing.
He understands that I am crazy and weird and insecure and he just goes with it. Whenever I do something that makes me feel awkward or if I get nervous he is judging me for something I said...He can see the worry on my face and the just makes me laugh and realize he isn't thinking anything bad at all..i love when I wake up and he just pulls me close and holds me for another 10 minutes before we need to get out of bed. And the silly noises he makes also make me giggle. I am determined to win a tickle fight one day soon...
One of the best nights was just sitting in his room and watching him play guitar. Some he wrote, some he just knows. It was just so great to watch him enter into his own world like that. <3
There hasn't been a single blow up fight, no yelling matches. He hasn't called me a single hurtful name...not even as a joke. Sure we have had tense moments, but they always seem to be fixed by just explaining how we felt.
I really see this lasting, I feel like we have built a really good structure over this last few months for something completely amazing.
So I doubt this will be updated often because....
happiness writes white :)
Wednesday. 6.10.09 9:40 pm
Two weeks ago I said it but put my hand over his mouth because I knew he wasn't there yet but I just couldn't hold it in.
Then yesterday on his birthday after a yummy dinner at the inner harbor and a fun night at a hole in the wall bar with his friends.... (and after he sang Beach Boy songs the whole way home haha) and getting giddy like a little kid when I made him blow out his birthday cake candles...
After all of that, in the dimly lit kitchen he turned to me, said I was the best, hugged me, and then told me he loved me.
It was perfection.
<3 <3 <3
Sunday. 4.5.09 11:54 pm
What the heck do I do after graduation?!
I will be in a job that will not challenge me....
I think I need to get some hobbies.
I need some ideas. Anything would be nice lol
Monday. 3.30.09 4:16 pm
I was given a piece of information yesterday. That has made me completely rethink the last...oh 2 years or so.
It really freaks me out to think how different my life would have been if you had just told me this all that summer...
Part of me feels like I should be furious because well you were a big ass, and everything you called yourself I agree with. Because what you did was wrong, I was nice and you were not, and you should feel bad for how you handled it.
I don't think I would have dated Alex again had I known this information. But then who would I have leaned on when everyone died that winter? Would I have been closer with Casey since there would have been no Alex to cause tension? How much extra money would I have in my freaking bank account?
Would I have found someone different to help me get through those days? I think I would have. I don't think you have any idea how deeply what you said to me hurt....how self conscious they made me. How even to this day I think my fear in/of new relationships is because of that summer.
But now all of those ideas are shattered with this...revelation. To know it wasn't the girl I always thought or even me really...It's very eye opening.
Like I said I feel like I should be so mad for lots of reasons. But I really...other then the curiousness I have for what my life would have been like, I don't mind.
Because the way I see it, if you had been honest and let me know everything I wouldn't be who I am today... I wouldn't be with Warren, and I am very happy with him. So....yeah, looks like I have a tendency of forgiving boys who hurt my feelings, join the club.
lol What a trip! I wish I could tell someone all the details, but this might have to stay between us.
Friday. 3.6.09 4:51 pm
I had forgotten how fun it is to date someone new.... I haven't done so since I was 17!
I like that I still get nervous when he was walks up to my apartment, or that I blush when he looks at me.
It's exciting not knowing exactly what he is thinking when he smiles.
It's even more hilarious that I had a crush on him when I was younger but thought he was way out of my league.
He is passionate about things, it's so great listening to him chat on about music and bands.
I adore watching him play music, his band actually has their first show at Fletcher's this month! I can't wait to see them all up on stage.
He could possibly be one of the nicest people I have ever met, he is so aware of when I get nervous and knows just what to say to calm me down. He has his own life, so I can have my own life, with my "me" time.
He's tall!!! And smart (he fixed my computer when I was about to cry), he has amazing dreams, he is talented. He makes me laugh and doesn't have a mean bone in his body.
Dreamy is the absolute best way to describe him.
I love that I don't know everything about him. It's great just sitting around talking and telling stories or just asking a million questions.
He's great story teller :-)
Haha I don't know if I ever want him to meet my crazy parents....
I like how this feels...no pressure, just happiness
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